I told you before that this blog would end in a whimper. And so it will. Perhaps several whimpers. Here’s one.

When last I posted, it was the middle of August and I had just narrowly survived a water rafting trip. All of that is a distant memory. It will be easy to catch you up on what’s happened in my life since then.

* Our family vacation to California. I went to an amusement park and rode on many roller coasters. I went to a water park and went down many slides. We ate many hamburgers. We had Pink’s hot dogs twice, which I think was overdoing it. We found out our favorite Mexican restaurant had closed down. I never managed to finish a Sudoku puzzle on the plane trip home.

* Princess Zurg got her braces off. This didn’t really affect me personally.

* I got my new glasses with the progressive lenses. They were not as difficult to get used to as I thought they would be. It turns out seeing things clearly is just like riding a bike. It is kind of weird to wear glasses all the time. Fortunately, I think they look good, but I do wonder if fashions will change such over time that 20 years from now I will look at pictures and be like, “Good grief, what was I thinking?” But I usually think that about any picture I see of myself.

* School started. I had to get used to getting up at 6:45 a.m. and making lunches again. Six-forty-five a.m. is not really that early, but considering that left to my own devices one Saturday I managed to sleep until 12:40 p.m., I think you can understand why I am not at my best at quarter-to-seven.

* I attended four Back to School nights. They were all really boring. I wondered why I needed to come. I didn’t feel especially enlightened. I wish the teachers had all just sent out pertinent info in e-mails.

* I drive a carpool this year. Believe it or not, this is my first carpool ever. No one has ever wanted to carpool with me before. I take Girlfriend and the neighbor’s kids to school in the morning, and my neighbor picks them all up in the afternoon. I still have to go out in the afternoon and pick up PZ from the high school, so I’m not really saved a trip in the car, but it is one less parking lot to navigate. I hate school parking lots.

* I attended a back-to-school party thrown by the parent of one of Elvis’s classmates. She has kind of an amazing house. If it’s not worth a million dollars, I’m not sure what a million-dollar home looks like. I’m sure she paid less than a million for it. She said it had been in foreclosure a couple years and there was a lot of work to be done, but there can’t have been that much work because they haven’t been there that long and it looks like a million dollars. I’m taking into account the real estate value of the land, which is considerable. I’m not really that into real estate. My real estate interests mostly center around making sure I never have to move again. But I do notice when people have million-dollar-looking homes because I don’t get invited to them very often. Was the home the only thing about the party I remember? No. The other thing I remember is remembering why I don’t go to autism support groups or otherwise hang out much with other parents of autistic children. I understand being obsessed with your autistic child’s educational needs. It isn’t really a voluntary obsession. Is it nice to meet other people who can relate to your problems and hardships and perturbations? Yes. But I mostly socialize with other adults to forget all my problems and hardships and perturbations regarding my children. I don’t really enjoy talking about it that much. A little bit, yes. Not a lot, though.

* The above was not to say that the party was unenjoyable. It was nice. Maybe what I really didn’t like was being reminded that I should really create more opportunities for Elvis to socialize with his peers. Do you know how much I hate creating opportunities for my children to socialize with other children? It’s almost as bad as having to oversee them socializing with other children.

* I lost my iPod that same weekend. Not at the party because I had already lost it by then. It’s been almost a month and I haven’t found it yet. I’m pretty sure it’s gone. It’s only annoying when I need to do housework and I can’t plug it into my ears and be distracted from the fact that I’m doing housework. I have to use my imagination instead. My imagination could use some fine-tuning.

* Speaking of imagination, I would like to say that I’ve had no time to blog because I’ve been working too much on my other writing projects, but that would be a lie. I am working on my other writing projects, but I would still make time to blog if I had anything to blog about, but you can see here that I don’t.

* The above was not to say that I am actually making progress on my other writing projects. It’s all pretty much crap. It’s sort of depressing. Also, the house is pretty much going to hell because I’m writing (or trying to) instead of doing the dishes and the laundry and staying on top of the paperwork. It reminds me why I stopped writing in the first place, but today the house doesn’t look too horrible, except for the seven loads of laundry I haven’t folded yet, so here I am.

* My clogging group started up again. (We always take an end-of-summer hiatus after the county fair.) It reminds me that I have the stamina of a 90-year-old on a respirator. I’m wondering what can be done about that.

* My progesterone therapy is working very well. Three months PMS-free and counting. Don’t you wish you could be me?

* The above was a rhetorical question.

* I have decided that I probably don’t need to see my shrink that often. That will save my insurance company some money.

* I finally watched my Netflix movie that was sitting on the entertainment center for about six weeks. It was good. I even remembered to send it back, eventually. I haven’t watched the new disc yet. It’s only been a couple days.

That’s about it because it’s lunchtime. What about you, gentle readers? How are you?