Sugar Daddy: Are you coming upstairs to sleep with me?

Madhousewife: No. I’m coming to get more laundry.

SD: You aren’t going to ravish me sexually?

Mad: No. I already did that.

SD: What? When was this?

Mad: Earlier. You were asleep.

SD: Did I enjoy it?

Mad: Oh, yeah. It was tons of fun.

.

I don’t know what it is about my husband’s presence that makes me especially unproductive. I should be more productive because he’s there watching me like a hawk, but somehow it has the opposite effect on me. Almost like I want to see how much sloth and bon bon eating I can get away with. I don’t know why I would do this. It’s not like I can enjoy sloth and bon bon eating when he’s standing over my shoulder (on the couch playing video games) like that.

Every day when my husband is home, he asks, “So what’s on your agenda today?” I hate that question. You know, this is why I didn’t become a teacher, because I didn’t want to have to turn in lesson plans in advance. It’s not that I don’t have any plans, but maybe I just don’t feel like sharing them. Or maybe I don’t have any plans and I’m just going to see what shakes out. Clean clothes and/or dinner? Perhaps. You’ll just have to wait and see.

I don’t know how I’m going to deal with his retirement. Maybe that’s when I’ll get a job.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Yeah, that was funny.

I had a laundry dilemma earlier this week. When you have an article of clothing that is almost exactly half-black and half-white and you’re supposed to wash it with “like colors,” do you wash it with things that are mostly white, or mostly black? It’s cotton, if that helps you. In my experience, mostly dark tends to dull the mostly-light portions of clothing, but a big chunk of black in a mostly-light load just seems wrong. I did it anyway, in cold water. I don’t expect it to make much difference one way or another, but considering that it took me two days to come to this decision, I’m hoping Princess Zurg just doesn’t wear that shirt again.

I have to make myself lunch and useful, so I’ll just cut it off here. Gentle readers, adieu.

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