I’m not really. In business, that is. But I am back.

So remember how my husband went back to work on Friday? He came home early, took a nap, then took three of the kids to a football game that evening. It was our high school’s homecoming game, but did our child who goes to that high school choose to go to the game? No, she stayed here with me. Actually, we went out for gyros and then we came home and didn’t speak to each other because we’d had enough togetherness for one evening. Just kidding. We did have a very pleasant dinner together. And the guy at the gyro place asked if we were sisters. We do look a great deal alike, but there is a 27-year age difference. Princess Zurg said, “I hope he thought you looked young and not that I looked old.” Indeed. Most teenage girls would like to look older than they are, but not 27 years older. Or even 15 years older. I think the braces help me look younger than I am, at least on a galloping horse. When they finally come off, I wonder how many years it will add to my face.

By the time my braces come off, I could be very old indeed. I’m coming up on my third anniversary soon. Well, in February. I’m not in any particular rush, since getting them off means getting my jaw surgery, and I’m not looking forward to my jaw surgery. I’m looking forward to about two months after my jaw surgery, when everything’s healed (theoretically). But that’s neither here nor there.

I totally lost my train of thought. Sugar Daddy went out Friday night, then was out and busy all day Saturday and Saturday night, and then he crashed again on Sunday and he’s been home sick all week. Has he gone to the doctor? Yes, he has. I guess he has the flu. Or that’s his doctor’s guess. The doctor said he should not go back to work until he is 100 percent. SD said he is definitely going back to work tomorrow. He is not quite 100 percent today, but I guess he is anticipating being 100 percent tomorrow. Naturally, tomorrow is the day all the kids are home from school. I am taking them to get their pictures taken. None of them is happy about it. I’m not happy about it, but it has to be done. I am going to bribe them with going out to lunch afterward. It will be expensive, but maybe it will keep most of them from whining the whole two hours we’ll be at the portrait studio.

Speaking of pictures, you know what I’m totally behind on? So far behind I can’t imagine how I’ll ever, ever catch up? My family blog, which I maintain mostly for the benefit of grandparents and other relatives young enough to understand the internet. (Not that all the grandparents understand the internet equally well.) Last year was disgraceful. I posted a whole bunch of pictures in June and then nothing again until December, when I made a last-minute resolution for 2012 that I would finish posting all of the 2012 pictures before 2013. I did manage that (mostly–I did not get Christmas up there). I resolved to do better in 2013, but in January the USB port in our camera went kaput, and I kept waiting for a remedy to reveal itself, and it did not. So finally in August or something I posted the only pictures I had access to, which were on my iPod–all of them pretty poor quality–and that prompted my husband to remedy my USB problem, so I finally uploaded the camera pictures to my computer, and then we got a new camera right before we went on vacation. But have I posted any more pictures since then? No, my friends, I have not. Because I’m just so effing lazy. No, that’s not it. It’s because photo blogging is just so effing tedious, I can’t bring myself to do it. It’s tedious and time-consuming and I don’t get nearly enough adulation in return for my investment. Also, people in my household don’t value the family blog enough not to complain when I go on a photo-blogging binge. I can’t just do a little bit at a time. I have to tackle it all at once. It’s like swallowing bad-tasting medicine. You don’t sip it. That’s stupid. You know what I’m saying? Anyway, it’s very upsetting to think about how much work I have to do on that front. I think I’ll just stop thinking about it.

Where was I? Oh. I got an e-mail in my Yahoo yesterday informing me that I’d won a drawing that I’d entered for a gift card to our favorite pizza place. I guess I would call it our favorite pizza place because it’s where we usually get our pizza, and we usually have pizza twice a month, so we’re there a lot. Is it our favorite in the sense that it’s the best tasting pizza around? No, perhaps not. It’s good pizza, but more to the point, it’s affordable pizza. The price-to-good ratio is very favorable. So yes, I guess it’s our favorite place. Anyway, I’m now the proud winner of this gift card. I don’t think I’ve ever been so surprised in my life. I never win anything. Ever! But now I can’t say that, because here I am, already a winner. I suspect that there weren’t that many names in the drawing, but that’s neither here nor there because I seriously never win anything, even when the odds are in my favor, even when the competition isn’t stiff. What’s the opposite of stiff competition? Limp competition? Flexible competition? Smooshy competition? In any case, even if there are only two names in a hat and one of them is mine, I would advise you betting against my name being drawn. That is how devoid of good luck I ordinarily am. So this pizza gift card is like a kind of miracle. An early Columbus Day miracle, if you will.

And with that, I have to end because I want to pick up my Columbus Day miracle on my way to picking up my school-spiritless high schooler. So long, gentle readers. May you have many mighty miracles of your own this weekend.

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