My first realistic goal for 2011 is to eat better in January than I did in December. Shouldn’t be too difficult, once all the fudge is finally gone.
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On second thought, maybe that goal should read “eat better in February than I did in December or January.”
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This morning I was singing, and Princess Zurg, as usual, was complaining about my singing. She actually said, “I thought you were going to resolve not to sing so much anymore.”
“Why on earth would I make a resolution like that?” I asked. “I’d have to break it every day of my life.”
“Well, maybe you could sing less around me.”
“I think I resolve to sing more, especially around you. That’s a resolution I can keep.”
“No!”
So there’s my second realistic goal for 2011. Yell less, sing more. The singing is the key, gentle readers. If I merely resolved to yell less, I would inevitably find myself wanting to yell more. But if I replace yelling with singing, I can annoy my children just as much and wield far more influence over them. I once got Mister Bubby to clean his room by singing “Beat It” on continuous loop until he just couldn’t stand it anymore. Didn’t cost me a thing.
I just need to fashion myself a proper repertoire.
I’m on a roll here.
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My Realistic Goals for 2011
1. Eat better in February than I did in January or December.
2. Yell less, sing more.
3. Finish reading one of the books I started reading in 2010.
4. Socialize with real people in real life, say, once a quarter.
And one slightly-unrealistic goal, just to keep me humble:
5. Write more often than I floss.
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These are the goals I will hold myself accountable for this year. All of my other accomplishments will be gravy. All of my other failures will be…well, they might be gravy, too. I’ve never really understood that expression.
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Suggestions for comments:
What are your realistic goals? What songs do you think I should sing this year?
9 comments
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January 1, 2011 at 8:41 pm
evitafjord
In our official resolution-making mini-family-meeting on the bed this morning, I think I said mine were to be more physically active (than a slug, so easy) and to yell less. Oh and to not go to bed with dirty dishes on the counter. That last one is the one that will be broken first, I’m quite sure.
I think you should sing EVERYTHING. Like a musical or an opera combination – a mopera. Because musicals have spoken words, but you wouldn’t want to sing aria-style all the time. I’m sure there’s already a word for that, but who cares. Mopera. When you’re sad, you could pronounce it mope-er-uh. This is so going to become a thing.
I think another goal (though not realistic) I should set would be to comment less when I should be sleeping more. Or just sleep more.
January 1, 2011 at 8:44 pm
janeannechovy
I have two goals: clean out the basement so I can reach inflow-outgo stasis, and read more (books, on my own–I do plenty of reading of magazines, though you’d never guess from all the piles of unread magazines around my house, and books to my children). As part of the second goal, I read 100 pages of Henrietta Lacks today. Yay!
January 2, 2011 at 7:50 am
Patience
I usually resolve to read one book that I own but haven’t read yet. I get seduced by the library and neglect the books I own. That has worked out for me as a resolution for the past few years.
My less realistic goal is to find a job in a different nursing unit, and if I find that job to be as intolerable as the job I have now, to find a job outside of nursing and give up nursing forever.
January 2, 2011 at 9:08 pm
foo4luv
BratzBasher recommends MacArthur Park (the Donna Summer version). I can attest to it’s annoyance potential. She once gifted me with a week of not singing it.
I recommend Strangers in the Night. It’s super cheesy. Cheese is always annoying. And it’s Sinatra! Bonus for you!
My realistic goal: don’t have a nap tomorrow. Seriously, I think I can do that. No, really.
January 2, 2011 at 9:48 pm
madhousewife
Oooh, MacArthur Park is already one of my go-to faves. BB is a woman after my own heart.
January 3, 2011 at 10:03 am
slothnbox
Excellent goals, I think. One of my goals is to lose 80 pounds before January 15, but I think I may have set the bar a bit high on that one. I should probably settle for 50.
January 3, 2011 at 12:19 pm
Mother of the Wild Boys
Goals? Hmm…nope, I got nothing. Oh wait! I do want to have a reunion with my favorite gals from Vegas Blog Fest ’09, can that be a goal? I hope so.
And as far as singing goes, I awake my children to the same tune my EARLY morning seminary teacher used: Up Awake Ye Defenders of Zion. That one really sticks in your head.
January 3, 2011 at 12:34 pm
Flip flop mama
DH always sings Brightly Beams our Father’s Mercy. I think it’s kind of a weird song. That would work to annoy your kids. I’m still working on the goals thing…having a hard time.
January 4, 2011 at 10:00 pm
MCQ
Sing: Pour Some Sugar On Me by Def Leppard. If you need inspiration on how to do it a capella, here it is: